My Window on the World

I’ve mentioned before that I often sit & gaze out of the office window when I’m collecting my thoughts – today’s gaze was centred on a blog topic.  I do try very hard to come with a worthwhile discussion topic – you will probably have noticed that I don’t manage it every single week because sometimes there is just nothing much to say.

When searching for inspiration I tend to use a current events magazine to spur me on – but this week, sadly, the focus was on Japan and the 70th anniversary of the atom bomb being dropped – very sad days for not only Japan but the whole world.  As much as I could probably wax lyrical about the fact that I consider no pros and a trolley full of cons regarding the whole affair, I can’t see it being a particularly useful exercise.

So that got me thinking – why do I bother with a blog at all?  My Google analytics tell me that people read them – not in the numbers that would please John Grisham, but it does happen.  I quite enjoy writing them when – so is that enough?  Does it matter if no-one reads them?  My ‘Editor’ tells me that they are well written.  I advertise my blog on our website, twitter, etc., all the usual ‘social media’ places but I never get any feedback.  Does anyone?

So, again – why do I bother?  Perhaps it’s just that I want to feel that I have put something of myself out there in the Universe – a symbol of my existence, perhaps?

I’m currently approaching the end of a 7-year life cycle and I don’t mind telling you that I’m struggling to make sense of an increasingly hostile world.  I think it’s made worse because I have a chronic illness called Fibromyalgia.  I can be mentally & physically exhausted for days at a time whilst being riddled with pain.  The cause?  A particularly thoughtless act by a lorry driver who probably doesn’t even remember pulling out in front of me - whilst on his mobile phone.  My whole life was changed in seconds because of that accident.

Am I angry?  Darn right I am…sometimes, like today.  Am I grateful?   Bet your bottom dollar I am.  I could have been extinguished in less time that it would take to say ‘good-bye’, but I wasn’t.  I have my life, I can see the person who means most to me in the world every day and I get to gaze out of the window for a blog topic which I then get to write down and post for the whole world to read – if they want to.  If they don’t, then that’s okay with me, because I’m here to write it anyway.